Category: Family

You Can’t Spare ‘Em From Growing Up

An awful lot comes down to perspective.

I’m chatting with my daughter on Facebook; we don’t get to talk every day since she moved cross-country. A reminder came up of the tussle it used to be getting her and her stepsister to go to school.

“I’m so sorry about that, Mom,” she tells me. I assure her I wasn’t traumatized. Then she apologizes for a whole list of other things.

I wasn’t prompting for an apology, and she understood that. Although every kid will present challenges, she was pretty darned easy to raise in the grand scheme of things. I know. I’ve seen less easy. Continue reading You Can’t Spare ‘Em From Growing Up

Why I don’t Meddle…

With my daughter having moved far off, a couple people have asked me if she’s looking for work. I’m sure they think I’m mental when I tell them I have no idea whatsoever, have not asked–and am not planning on asking.

It’s not because it would upset her, or be a touchy subject somehow. She’s straightforward, and doesn’t have issues with the idea I care about how she’s doing. She’s honest and direct when I question her. It’s really a lot simpler than that. Continue reading Why I don’t Meddle…

Happy to Have Hubby Around

My husband is not working. And while there are definitely downsides, there are a number of things to appreciate as well.

  • I love spending every day with him again. We used to work together, and it was great. It’s reminded me of how much I miss that.
  • He’s so much happier than he’s been in a long time. It’s wonderful to see him healthy, well-rested, and not stressed. That makes me happy.
  • Other transitions are easier with him nearby. My daughter just moved cross-country, and I miss her tremendously. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as it would have been without him here with me as much as he is now.
  • He’s taken on a number of tasks around the house I was managing before. This took me almost no time to adjust to and has made my life a lot easier.
  • He’s had time to pursue some of his other interests and this makes me happy, too.
  • It’s a great opportunity. How many times in your adult life do you get to take a few months off working?
  • We’re reconnecting. For the first time in twenty years, it’s just him and me. Watching our budget, we’re not going out much or running around much. We spend lots of time together, and it’s really wonderful to be able to do just that.
  • I am hoping he lands in a situation and place that leaves him feeling happy, valued and appreciated. Disconnecting from the old situation that was not working in that regard is required to make room for the new.

It’s just been a wonderful gift at a time that would have been more difficult in many ways without it, and I appreciate every moment I get to enjoy our time together.

My Baby Moved Out

It was harder than I thought. I figured I’m not over-involved with my kids, so empty nest would be no sweat. It’s been coming and going in waves. She’s about 12 hours away now, which is probably the hardest part. If she could come over every week for a visit or something, I don’t think it would feel the same. I’d probably have some sentimental moments, but it wouldn’t feel quite so hard.

I’ve done this before and it was hard, but in a totally different way. The other kid always steeled herself for moving out by complete disconnect emotionally before the fact for months. It hurt like Hell, but a totally different type of pain.

I’m happy for her, though, because she wants to live a grown up life and be on her own now, and I want for her to thrive. She’s kind, smart and funny, and she’s sane and sensible. She knows what boundaries are and how to love. I’ve given her the best start I knew how to, and I hope it will be enough to smooth her path.

That’s where my head and heart is at today: wishing my baby the best as she moves into her new life.  That was then…this is now.

Bailey Says Goodbye