Vintage dixiblog: Things you don’t really want to hear from your teenaged kids

JUNE 26, 2003

we’re outta booze.

i don’t want to talk about it.

we could get a piercing kit off of ebay.

they have tattoo guns on ebay, too.

i could just practice on places nobody would see.

i think the cat would be cute with pierced ears.

he told me i needed to get laid.

moooooommm ( said in the i-want-something-tone).

having a baby raccoon would be just like having another cat.

somehow, it seems like all my dates are on medication.

i have to drive, because he has warrants out.

i don’t want to get my cat fixed. i think having a bunch of kittens would be cool.

mom, don’t get mad…

what’s for dinner, woman?

i want to join the marines. i think it would be cool to roll around in the dirt and play with guns and explosives.

i’d like to start using birth control, just so i could develop good habits.

but you said…

i just wanted to see what a joint looks like, you know, so i know what to stay away from. i’m serious.

when you see your doctor next time, you really should ask about that pms thing. no offense, but the way you get it’s not normal.

*These were all things I actually heard.

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