Mission: Happiness, Route: Muck

“What happened…how did I wind up here?” she wanted to know.

“Uh, I think you’re being kinda melodramatic here.” She laughed. That’s one of the things I love about her.

“I mean, yeah. You got shit to deal with. This is life, and some stretches are crappy. We all have our turns. You’re having your turn of shit to wade through, that’s all. If you’re not happy, then it’s your job to figure out what would make you happy. Your job is to find your way out.”

I’ll cheer her on, though.

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Custody Battle Tips

Wrote this in 2006, but the advice still holds…hope it helps somebody going through it.

heard through the grapevine somebody i know may be facing some custody issues soon. since this is something i know waaayyyy too much about (unfortunately), i figured i’d share some tips that may help anybody is this position. take it for what it’s worth—we didn’t win. but i know we learned a lot, too. so, you know. maybe our painful history can help someone else.

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Vintage dixiblog: Finding Out I’m Called Crazy Cat Lady

From 2007:

Well, hell. It’s rude. That’s what it is. But you know, sometimes, people are rude. But damn.

I was outside, minding my own business. I am pretty good at that–minding my own business, that is. Actually, I was watering my flowers. One of my neighbors was outside, visiting with a friend of his. I was mostly not paying attention. But something perked up my ears…

“…what about the crazy cat lady?” says the neighbor. Huh?  Crazy cat lady?

Continue reading Vintage dixiblog: Finding Out I’m Called Crazy Cat Lady

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Family Flashbacks

I went to visit Dad in the hospital. They expect him to be fine, after they add a couple more stints to his heart. But he’s almost 80. So, you never know. They just moved back into town, it’s a half hour trip. I’m going to see him before he goes to surgery.

My brother was there, with his wife, now adult son, and granddaughter. He looks, walks, and sounds so much like my dad it’s freakish.  I haven’t seen him for maybe 15 years; been probably a decade since I’ve heard his voice. They’re all dressed up, fresh from their meeting.

He was nice enough to me, and talked to me a little. But it’s weird as holy Hell, you know? It’s like it’s this person you know but you don’t, and everybody’s acting like it’s not weird that we haven’t talked in 15 years.  It’s not even mentioned or acknowledged. Continue reading Family Flashbacks

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Living a Humble Life

I get reminded sometimes. Most of the time, I forget. It’s second nature. But once in a while, I get reminded. I live a humble life. I’m not sure if it’s by circumstance or choice. Continue reading Living a Humble Life

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I miss you, Vega…

Vega woke us crying last night, unable to move his back legs. I laid next to him on the floor and comforted him until he quit crying. This morning, I took him to the vet. He was diagnosed with straddle thrombosis and the vet recommended putting him to sleep because of the extremely poor prognosis and painfulness of the condition. We did.  He was 7 years old.

He was the sweetest kitty in the world, and I miss him dearly already. We we very lucky to have him in our lives.

I love you, Vega.

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Happy to Have Hubby Around

My husband is not working. And while there are definitely downsides, there are a number of things to appreciate as well.

  • I love spending every day with him again. We used to work together, and it was great. It’s reminded me of how much I miss that.
  • He’s so much happier than he’s been in a long time. It’s wonderful to see him healthy, well-rested, and not stressed. That makes me happy.
  • Other transitions are easier with him nearby. My daughter just moved cross-country, and I miss her tremendously. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as it would have been without him here with me as much as he is now.
  • He’s taken on a number of tasks around the house I was managing before. This took me almost no time to adjust to and has made my life a lot easier.
  • He’s had time to pursue some of his other interests and this makes me happy, too.
  • It’s a great opportunity. How many times in your adult life do you get to take a few months off working?
  • We’re reconnecting. For the first time in twenty years, it’s just him and me. Watching our budget, we’re not going out much or running around much. We spend lots of time together, and it’s really wonderful to be able to do just that.
  • I am hoping he lands in a situation and place that leaves him feeling happy, valued and appreciated. Disconnecting from the old situation that was not working in that regard is required to make room for the new.

It’s just been a wonderful gift at a time that would have been more difficult in many ways without it, and I appreciate every moment I get to enjoy our time together.

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My Baby Moved Out

It was harder than I thought. I figured I’m not over-involved with my kids, so empty nest would be no sweat. It’s been coming and going in waves. She’s about 12 hours away now, which is probably the hardest part. If she could come over every week for a visit or something, I don’t think it would feel the same. I’d probably have some sentimental moments, but it wouldn’t feel quite so hard.

I’ve done this before and it was hard, but in a totally different way. The other kid always steeled herself for moving out by complete disconnect emotionally before the fact for months. It hurt like Hell, but a totally different type of pain.

I’m happy for her, though, because she wants to live a grown up life and be on her own now, and I want for her to thrive. She’s kind, smart and funny, and she’s sane and sensible. She knows what boundaries are and how to love. I’ve given her the best start I knew how to, and I hope it will be enough to smooth her path.

That’s where my head and heart is at today: wishing my baby the best as she moves into her new life.  That was then…this is now.

Bailey Says Goodbye
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